It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
