you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
