I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
