I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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