rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
