I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
