You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
