Screwed.edu
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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