the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
