No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
