I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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