I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
