she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
