So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
