I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
