just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
