He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
