I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
