Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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