he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You ate ashes out of my bong
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
