the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
