i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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