Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
