Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
