Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
