okay pat passed out under dana's car
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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