and you said cock pushups were impossible
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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