it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
