Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
