why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
