her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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