it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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