You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
