I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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