mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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