Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
