I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
