Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
God, you're like boner-b-gone
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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