Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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