He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize