i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
