Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
