I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
