guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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