Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
