I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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