then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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