Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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