No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
