its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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