This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
